‘When do the Ashes start?’ I got asked in my lunch hour today. How can people not know? Why are people talking about another pathetic England football performance when England are on the verge of consigning years of Australian cricketing hegemony to the historical dustbin? Three out of four ain’t bad. That’s what it will be when Andrew Strauss lifts that not-so-fragile faux terracotta Ashes replica at the SCG in eight weeks time. That’s bordering on dominance. And it’s pretty much a foregone conclusion. At least, that’s what he of journalists, experts and ex-players on either side would have us believe.
It’s a strange time for England cricket fans. Where’s that strange mixture of excitement and foreboding? What’s happened to ‘Oh, I wish so-and-so were fit’ and ‘If only we’d picked Whatsisname’?
Where are all the overly confident Australians (who we really know aren’t overly confident at all but justifiably positive) bandying about predications of 5-0 scorelines?
It’s all very strange indeed. I think I even saw Michael Atherton giggle live on air last night. What is going on?
To be fair, by this point in an Ashes tour, England would usually have been humiliated by a bunch of grade cricketers, lost half of their key players to injury and seriously considered recalling Mark Ramprakash. The Australians, meanwhile, would basically have stood around, laughing and pointing at their hapless future victims, safe in the knowledge that they were the heirs to the all-powerful Australian cricketing empire, and thus, indestructible.
Given the changing fortunes of both sides in the last 18 months, it’s understandable that the England are more optimistic this time. But it all seems a bit too good to be true at the moment.
In series gone by, I don’t think I’ve ever heard what the various members of the Australian squad have been up to in the weeks leading up to the first test. Occasionally one of the batsman would pop-up as a token gesture in a tour game to watch his ludicrously talented understudies flay England’s bowlers to all parts with their eyes closed, safe in the knowledge that his place in the test XI was under no threat.
This time around there seems to be an Australia-wide cricketing edition of X-Factor taking place. Anyone dressed in white seems to be in with a shout. There are almost hourly updates on the latest damning failures as discarded candidates get left by the wayside and new, brighter prospects come to the fore. Even Steven Smith, hitherto leg-spinning successor to Shane Warne, is now being touted as the answer to Australia’s middle order woes on the back of one half century against England’s reserve bowling line-up.
If you want, you can even place your own vote as to who will take the field as Australia’s number one spinner next week. Cast your vote now. (Apparently Doherty’s winning but there’s a chap in Wollagong who took a 3-for this afternoon, so it’s all still up for grabs!)
It all seems, well, rather English.
In the meantime, England’s preparations couldn’t have gone any smoother. As the press keep pointing out, they’re ‘going under the radar’. No-one’s really talking about them. Well, that is, apart from the frequent updates about how well they’re doing to stay under the radar and go about their business in the way they are doing.
Everyone’s fit and confident. They’re taking wickets, scoring runs, walking on water. The management are calm and seem to have a settled side, with capable replacements ready to step in. They have even arranged for a whole extra squad of players to be the country, just in case the entire touring party are victims of a plane-falling-on-them-killing-them-in-a-blazing-inferno-Emmerdale-type catastrophe.
Strewth, (sorry, I can’t do the accent), it all sounds a bit Australian to me.
Now don’t get me wrong. I’m enjoying it as much as the next man. I love drifting off to sleep to the sound of Bill Lawrie begrudgingly acknowledging that Ajmal Shazhad, who isn’t even in the squad, is making the flower of Australia’s cricketing youth look like Guildford 3rd XI. I can’t get enough. And I do think England will win the series. Or I think they should do.
But I think we should all calm down just a little bit. Please. Let’s not jinx it just yet.
All it needs is for Jimmy Anderson to dish up a few long-hops on Thursday morning for Shane Watson to smash to the boundary, and it could all change in an instant. Australia, for all their weaknesses, still have some good players capable of winning games should England give them the chance. They’re not the Waughs, McGraths and Warnes of yesteryear, but England have lost to far weaker sides. And, for all the smoothness of their preparations, England are still capable of losing to good, and even mediocre sides. They haven’t played a top test side since Johannesburg in January, where they were unable to withstand South Africa’s last gasp, series-saving onslaught.
Perhaps more worryingly, England are now favourites. Not nominal, ‘let’s let them think they’re favourites’ favourites like they were in 2006-7. But actual favourites. If England lose in Brisbane, all the rancour and ridicule of the Australian press, currently reserved for their own players, will swiftly be refocused on the ‘same old Poms’, who’ve talked a good game once again, but nothing fallen lamely at the first hurdle. Except this time it will be worse, and the Ashes pressure cooker could suffocate England’s, as it has every time in my living memory, even if they are the better team.
That’s why it’s so important for England to win in Brisbane and keep the glare of the media spotlight firmly on Australia. Then we can all really start to enjoy it.
‘When do the Ashes start?’ I got asked in my lunch hour today. How can people not know? Why are people talking about another pathetic England football performance when England are on the verge of consigning years of Australian cricketing hegemony to the historical dustbin? Three out of four ain’t bad. That’s what it will be when Andrew Strauss lifts that not-so-fragile faux terracotta Ashes replica at the SCG in eight weeks time. That’s bordering on dominance. And it’s pretty much a foregone conclusion. At least, that’s what he of journalists, experts and ex-players on either side would have us believe.
It’s a strange time for England cricket fans. Where’s that strange mixture of excitement and foreboding? What’s happened to ‘Oh, I wish so-and-so were fit’ and ‘If only we’d picked Whatsisname’?
Where are all the overly confident Australians (who we really know aren’t overly confident at all but justifiably positive) bandying about predications of 5-0 scorelines?
It’s all very strange indeed. I think I even saw Michael Atherton giggle live on air last night. What is going on?
To be fair, by this point in an Ashes tour, England would usually have been humiliated by a bunch of grade cricketers, lost half of their key players to injury and seriously considered recalling Mark Ramprakash. The Australians, meanwhile, would basically have stood around, laughing and pointing at their hapless future victims, safe in the knowledge that they were the heirs to the all-powerful Australian cricketing empire, and thus, indestructible.
Given the changing fortunes of both sides in the last 18 months, it’s understandable that the England are more optimistic this time. But it all seems a bit too good to be true at the moment.
In series gone by, I don’t think I’ve ever heard what the various members of the Australian squad have been up to in the weeks leading up to the first test. Occasionally one of the batsman would pop-up as a token gesture in a tour game to watch his ludicrously talented understudies flay England’s bowlers to all parts with their eyes closed, safe in the knowledge that his place in the test XI was under no threat.
This time around there seems to be an Australia-wide cricketing edition of X-Factor taking place. Anyone dressed in white seems to be in with a shout. There are almost hourly updates on the latest damning failures as discarded candidates get left by the wayside and new, brighter prospects come to the fore. Even Steven Smith, hitherto leg-spinning successor to Shane Warne, is now being touted as the answer to Australia’s middle order woes on the back of one half century against England’s reserve bowling line-up.
If you want, you can even place your own vote as to who will take the field as Australia’s number one spinner next week. Cast your vote now. (Apparently Doherty’s winning but there’s a chap in Wollagong who took a 3-for this afternoon, so it’s all still up for grabs!)
It all seems, well, rather English.
In the meantime, England’s preparations couldn’t have gone any smoother. As the press keep pointing out, they’re ‘going under the radar’. No-one’s really talking about them. Well, that is, apart from the frequent updates about how well they’re doing to stay under the radar and go about their business in the way they are doing.
Everyone’s fit and confident. They’re taking wickets, scoring runs, walking on water. The management are calm and seem to have a settled side, with capable replacements ready to step in. They have even arranged for a whole extra squad of players to be the country, just in case the entire touring party are victims of a plane-falling-on-them-killing-them-in-a-blazing-inferno-Emmerdale-type catastrophe.
Strewth, (sorry, I can’t do the accent), it all sounds a bit Australian to me.
Now don’t get me wrong. I’m enjoying it as much as the next man. I love drifting off to sleep to the sound of Bill Lawrie begrudgingly acknowledging that Ajmal Shazhad, who isn’t even in the squad, is making the flower of Australia’s cricketing youth look like Guildford 3rd XI. I can’t get enough. And I do think England will win the series. Or I think they should do.
But I think we should all calm down just a little bit. Please. Let’s not jinx it just yet.
All it needs is for Jimmy Anderson to dish up a few long-hops on Thursday morning for Shane Watson to smash to the boundary, and it could all change in an instant. Australia, for all their weaknesses, still have some good players capable of winning games should England give them the chance. They’re not the Waughs, McGraths and Warnes of yesteryear, but England have lost to far weaker sides. And, for all the smoothness of their preparations, England are still capable of losing to good, and even mediocre sides. They haven’t played a top test side since Johannesburg in January, where they were unable to withstand South Africa’s last gasp, series-saving onslaught.
Perhaps more worryingly, England are now favourites. Not nominal, ‘let’s let them think they’re favourites’ favourites like they were in 2006-7. But actual favourites. If England lose in Brisbane, all the rancour and ridicule of the Australian press, currently reserved for their own players, will swiftly be refocused on the ‘same old Poms’, who’ve talked a good game once again, but nothing fallen lamely at the first hurdle. Except this time it will be worse, and the Ashes pressure cooker could suffocate England’s, as it has every time in my living memory, even if they are the better team.
That’s why it’s so important for England to win in Brisbane and keep the glare of the media spotlight firmly on Australia. Then we can all really start to enjoy it.
