Controversy was unleashed into the world of will-this-do celebrity product ranges, as, hot on the heels of her spray-tan and leggings lines, Lindsay Lohan begins pushing her new inflatable arm bands.
The launch had been going swimmingly until ‘National Enquirer’ today published a tell-all interview accompanied by sneaked parazzi pics alleging Lindsay’s long standing relationship with rival inflatables.
Lohan’s publicity machine went into overdrive to rubbish claims that Li-Lo lay on a li-lo last week. ‘Li-Lo assures me the li-lo is lying’ said publicist Jane Bussman. Adding that, ‘speculation that she uses a waist ring with a duck’s head at the helm is just silly’.
However, the li-lo in question is adamant he is telling the truth: ‘I haven’t lied, it’s Li-Lo who’s lying and if one more hack accuses me of being full of hot air I’ll straight-up kneecap the c*@t,’ said a clearly deflated li-lo.
Celeb gossip columnist and non-swimmer Brigitte Feltch says ‘It would be way off message of Li-Lo to commit the indiscretion in question; but you can’t buy this kind of publicity. Irrespective of other inflatables, arm-band sales could go through the roof. I expect to see people who can swim wearing armbands and not even necessarily when they’re swimming.’
Li-Lo herself is said to be lying low…but not on a li-lo.
‘APWLLDOWSSWS’ (The association of people who like to lie down on water, that isn’t the dead sea, without sinking) were unavailable for comment at the time of writing.